The Upcoming Sports Week

College Football Underdogs
News flash folks: the Kansas Jay Hawk Collegiate Football team is within striking distance of a national title! It’s amazing what getting first downs as often as Mike Tyson cops coke will do for the success of a football team. It’s not rocket science my friends. Follow this formula: matriculate the ball down the field (thank you Hank Stram) and then execute in the red zone. Share this info with Charlie Weis, he’s such a genius…not. Speaking of Kansas in a “BCS” title game, if they face LSU will it be Les Miles’ last harrah in the Bayou? His Alma Mater’s head ball coach position will be left vacant with the ousting of Lloyd Carr (I have never understood the name “Lloyd” the presence of two consecutive L’s freaks me out). Les Miles and the Michigan Wolverines would have to come to terms financially but the convincing won’t be hard on either side. Les Miles played under the legendary Bo Schembechler…the stars are aligned my furry Wolverine friends.

NBA Morons
Switching gears, I have one question for New York Knick fans: paper or plastic? If you’re half way smart you got that that one. Isiah and Jim Dolan, a killer combination I must say. Did you know that Isiah Thomas has a strange middle name? His middle name is “Lord”…weirdo. If you enjoy train wrecks stay tuned, Stephon Marbury has GOT to do something stupid again. By the way, the “Starbury’s” are selling like hot cakes…they are all so trendy…sold exclusively at Steve and Barry’s (no plug intended…but we won’t say no to a check, wink-wink.) Stephon has a cool middle name though, nothing beats: Xavier! P.S. Jim Dolan will probably be kicked out of NBA ownership by David Stern…I told you first.

NFL Super Guy
Does anybody else feel like vomiting when they think about Tom Brady? He impregnated two super models nearly simultaneously, has three Super Bowl rings, is the new face of Calvin Klein, and he isn’t satisfied. Geesh who’s more power hungry, Tom Brady or Ryan Seacrest? Join me in booing Tom and rooting for an ugly quarterback…Brett FAVRE! He has the Green Bay Packers 9 and 1. The frozen tundra is heating up thanks to a passing game that Favre has clicking. But more responsible for the “Packs” success is a stingy and opportunistic defense. Thanksgiving football should be quite interesting with Brett Favre and his Packers defense clashing with Jon Kitna and Calvin Johnson when the Packers meet the Detroit Lions. How about the other game on Turkey Day…the woeful but hopeful New York Jets take on Terrell Owens and media darling Tony Romo. Following this upcoming Thursday’s match up next Thursday showcases the Pack and Cowboys going at it. Good game to see who is for real in the NFC. Not that it matters, remember The New England Patriots are invincible.

Two Words: Barry, Jail
Thirty years for Barry “Junk” Bonds? Barry Bond’s head isn’t the only thing getting bigger ever since he decided to take steroids…his legal woes are swelling as well. The steroid era in Baseball will in my opinion create a new type of archaeological stat hunting. We will soon decipher which home run hitters accomplished Hall of Fame totals clean without the aid anabolic steroids or Victor Conte’s training advice and the “Clear.” Frank Thomas looks more impressive by the minute. Take a look at his numbers and consider if he may be the best hitter of the common era.