Fat People Cause Global Warming: Fat Isn’t Very Green
Lately, we have noticed an increasing push for “going green.” We have seen changes in everything from transportation to food preparation to the internet. This got me thinking about how I could make my life greener. My immediate realization was that I was a walking global warming vessel. I’m fat. Being fat can’t be very green. Can it? We need to reduce our emissions of heat-trapping gases and learn how to use energy more efficiently.
Think about it. I’m overweight and require an above average usage of certain environmentally non-friendly things. Like what, you ask? Well, how about showering…? Being fat makes me take longer in the shower, using up more water than I should be using. So I waste water even though I make a conscious effort to “speed up” my showers. Another waste is toilet usage. I take, um, pretty big dumps and need more than one flush. I also use a lot of wipes to clean up. Don’t even get me started on my frequent urination due to all the water and green tea I consume. That equals quite a large amount of flushing per day.
Another way that being fat, or unhealthy, isn’t green is all the crap that gets consumed. I try to be as healthy as possible, but I do have my weaknesses. There are folks that eat out day after day after day. What do you think this does to the environment? That extra bag that was used to pack those 3 double cheeseburgers doesn’t just evaporate into thin air ya know. And the process of creating those burger wrappers doesn’t help either, factories and plants are needed for the creation of all of this.
How else can being fat not be very green? Clothes! Have you seen the amount of fabric needed to create some of the clothes that overweight people wear? I know you have. It’s all over television with the “I lost X amount of pounds” commercials. Think of what it takes to make that 5XL t-shirt. Think. What about all the washing that is needed for those large clothes? The water, the detergent, the softener, the dryer time…talk about endless loads of clothes.
If you’re fat you’re probably a notorious waster of electricity and gas too. It can be either watching too much television, having the air conditioning on a lot, or driving to that nearest fast food joint to pick up a “snack.” The heavier you are the more gas your car needs to carry you around. Fat = heavy = more gas needed. It’s simple math.
I’m not saying that being fat is causing global warming (need some research and scientific proof for this), but I can assure you that being fat isn’t very environmentally friendly.
Update: Looks like someone else feels the same way about global warming and fat people.
Great post, but “T.M.I.” with the big dumps. I was eating lunch.
My bad, just speaking the truth and keeping it real my friend. LOL.
I don’t think your generalizations about fat people are true at all. I happen to be fat, and have been so for at least 30 of my 54 years of life. I don’t eat at fast food places (who the hell can afford that all the time?), my showers last about 5 minutes, and I only need to flush the toilet once (if I have to use wipes, I don’t need to use t.p.). I drive a minivan that gets 20 mpg city and 25 mpg highway (and it’s 11 years old, with 162,000 miles on it), and that’s the mileage it gets no matter if my fat ass is driving it or my son’s thinner one is driving it. I do 3 loads of laundry a week for 2 adults, so my huge clothes aren’t an environmental problem either (and not in the making of them either since I don’t go out and buy new outfits every month, I’m lucky if I can manage a whole new wardrobe every 3 or 4 years). You may not be a very “green” fat person, but YOU are the only fat person for whom you can speak. You can’t speak for the “green-ness” of any other fat person out there because you don’t a clue how they live their lives. But go ahead and keep on perpetuating the stereotype that all fat people are gluttonous, wasteful pigs. After all, we’re fat, we don’t deserve any basic human respect at all.
“After all, we’re fat, we don’t deserve any basic human respect at all.” Vesta, I’m fat too. I never said we didn’t deserve respect. Seems like you have some animosity buried inside that fat of yours. Let it out! LET IT OUT!
LOL @ vesta44. That has been the funniest comment I have ever read. Thanks for brightening up my day :).
You do THREE loads of laundry a week for TWO people? That seems like an awful lot to me.
I have managed to bring that down considerably.
How’d you get so fat? By consuming more than your necessary intake of food. There are tons of skinny kids who would love to eat your seconds. So yeah, you are gluttonous, deal with it. At least the original poster admits some fat people’s flaws. Also, the original poster wants to become fit. Make an effort. Don’t just be satisfied with being a fatty. It can’t be very flattering for yourself either, fatty. Your clothes themselves require more fabric to make. You probably produce more harmful gases too. You do realize cows actually contribute significantly to global warming, it’s because of the gas they produce. You probably produce more gas too.
Sorry, I’m being so harsh. I definitely exaggerated a lot, but I feel like the only way you can get through to whiney people is by beating them over the head with honesty, fatty.
Pretty brutal Eddie…pretty brutal, but you didn’t use any profanity so…
I guess you don’t understand that for some overweight folks being overweight is not just something you do, it’s actually mental, a disorder. But i don’t want to get into that.
Why did you feel the need to copy and paste this tirade on every google result for “fat people cause global warming”?
It looked really stupid on TheSun.com because your points were totally irrelavent to anything mentioned. To counter your argument I need to make the following points:
(i) The main reason fat people cause global warming is because of the amount of food they eat, this equates to a billion tonnes of extra CO2 production every year. You have failed to address this point.
(ii)25mpg is abysmal, I drive a 1.9 turbo diesel pickup which gets 50mpg and probably has more load carrying capacity than your van. My wife also drives a 1.9 turbo diesel which returns 80mpg.
(iii)I do two loads of laundry a week for two adults, your clothes are bigger, there’s no getting around that.
(iv)You have crap all over your ass from not wiping it after taking a dump.
(v)You smell from not washing properly
While I don’t agree that fat people cause global warming, you make some very good points about the other things. But this is true of individuals no matter what their size is. Enviornmental waste does not know size, but it makes sense to me about the extra fabric use as well as the additional water usage.
Fat people are very lazy and also not energetic. But this doesn’t mean that they are the cause for global warming. There’s no size or type of environment but the extra thing are wasted like the additional water usage and the fabrics.
Haha this is really funny article. The title and the picture are AMAZING!
despite all the hype, the world still is, by and large, not a very green place. Not even the western world. We still have a log way to go, but its good to see lots of people talking about it and seeing different applications for it.
Fat people take up to much space
Anthropogenic global warming is a bunch of crap! It is a religion to those who are truly Godless and have no meaning in life.
Where’s your proof?
This is a great idea and needs to be taken further. Small people are better, so everybody but the Asians and pygmy populations need to go and hang themselves with a natural fiber rope.
scary thought.
Fat people maybe fart too much.
Well if you must blame it on someone, sure “blame” the one with the largest carbon footprint. I am not fat just older, slower, and slightly overweight.
I eat, sleep, and I’m happy.
I am aware of my environment ant take steps to preserve it. I clean up others litter, pet droppings, and I recycle. Things the younger generation generally refuse to do.