Decrease your Likelihood of Being Hit By a Meteor
During your weight loss journey, you are going to have days where you forget why you are trying to lose weight. In this post I’ll give you some great reasons to stay the course. These are not my TOP 10 reasons, but they are good reasons.
Reason # 1: To Run From Wild Animals
There may come a day when you are standing in your yard, watering your lawn, and a Polar Bear comes out of no where. Yes, I understand you live in Florida, but Polar Bears are known to wander. What are you going to do? Run, of course. Now, if you were a few pounds lighter, you would be a little faster, and the Polar Bear would not have eaten you for dinner.
Reason #2: To Use Less Water in the Shower
The amount of water you use in the shower is directly proportional to your size. If you lost a few pounds, you would save water and your water bill would decrease. You would also save time in the shower and time drying off. How valuable are time and money to you?
Reason #3: To Use Less Gas in your Car
The heavier you are, the more work your car’s engine has to do to get and keep the car moving. This work requires more gas and gas prices are increasing. I think it’s like $6 a gallon now. So, lose a few pounds and increase your car’s gas mileage.
Reason #4: To Decrease your Likelihood of Being Hit By a Meteor
The Earth will inevitably be hit by a meteor. The bigger you are, the bigger the target on your back is. Lose weight and the meteor will have a harder time crushing you. Now, I’m sure you are thinking that some scientists will let you know when a meteor is coming. Well, these same scientist cannot even predict the weather accurately. Are you sure you want to rely on their meteor forecasts?
Reason #5: To Decrease Your Likelihood Of Being Eaten By Cannibals
If your airplane ever crash lands on a deserted island, your fellow passengers will eventually resort to cannibalism. After all of the peanuts, pretzels, and bad airline food are eaten up, they are going to look to eat the largest people first. They want large people because they have more meat and they can’t run as fast (see Reason #1).
Reason #6: To Have Less Belly Button Lint
The bigger your belly is, the deeper your belly button will be, and the more belly button lint you will have. You may have enough in there to knit a sweater. Plainly said, belly button lint sucks.
Reason #7: Play Sports Better
Your performance in every sport would be improved if you lost a few pounds. You would run faster, move quicker, and jump higher. Even offensive lineman and professional golfers could improve their performance by losing some fat.
Reason #8: Get Drunk Quicker
The smaller you are, the less alcohol you would need to get drunk. Getting drunk quickly has two benefits:
- You save money on alcohol
- Your date gets attractive much quicker
Reason #9: To Fit In Seats More Comfortably
The smaller you are, the more comfortable you will fit into seats. Everywhere you go, the seats seem to be getting smaller. On the subway, on the bus, in the movie teathers, and on airplanes. When you are big two things inevitably happen:
- You are too small for your seat
- Another person, even bigger than you, decides they want to sit next to you, so that you are both even more uncomfortable
Reason #10: To Live
This is the last reason on this list, but it is my #1 reason of all time. It is also the reason I lost over 130 pounds and have kept it off.
Obesity-related diseases will make your life miserable and make you die earlier than you should. Life is already short. Why shorten it by being overweight?
Dr. Kalvin Chinyere is a weight-loss expert and ex-fat man. He is also the creator of the Don’t Go Broke Weight Loss Plan and the main contributor at Dr. Kal’s Blog.
Now I must admit, I have seen way too many articles on how to lose weight over the internet. But yours, I must say it is definitely something way new for me. The moment I read point one, I went O_O. Good job!
Edwin
I agree, this happens to be a funny one.
Thanks Edwin. Israel likes to mix it up on here on FMU, and I try to do the same when I guest post. Learn a lot and laugh a little.
Now that’s what I’m talking about! 🙂 Great post!
LOL, very funny Dr. Kal! I especially like #9 (so true) and #10, also true. Above all, congratulations on losing 130 pounds and keeping it off! 😉
I have to say #6 is the reason I get out of bed every morning to exercise.
LOL. That’s just too funny.
Very original, I like your creativity. Good Job!
That’s how we role around here. 🙂
Funny advice! I lost 140 lbs, but I am still about 50 pounds from goal.
Wow, that’s like a whole person.
Congrats on the weight loss. I love to hear success stories like that.
Haven’t thought about the meteor one before… Good stuff 🙂
No? It’s the first thing that comes to mind…
I came across this blog thru a John Chow post and I must say this is a fine example of blogging…even though I am definitely in NO need of losing weight! In fact,do you have some advice on gaining a few????????????
Hi Caleb, thanks for visiting. Sure do have some advice on gaining weight. Spent many years of my life “gaining” so I know what I’m talking about…
thats a really funny list.
I stopped by via John Chow’s link. I’m signing up for ur feed.
Hi, thanks for stopping by and subscribing.
Swing by my blog sometime Israel. I’ve got up the beginnings of some major changes in my fitness routine, some of which might interest you.
Also, I am going to send out in the next week an outline for the next fitness challenge. Maybe this time we can get the pot up to $100?
That sound good John, will do.
Great site! Too funny =)
Thanks Natasha.
How about being able to look at your feet without bending.
LOL.
This post was great. I love the ‘unconventional’ benefits of weightloss.
I think we should start a list!
See how long we can make it.
Let’s do it! Shoot me a mail via the contact form and we can get it started asap.
This was just plain awesome. Numbers one and four were my favorites. I came across this post through your tweets on Twitter (I’m @FamilyDoctorMag). So glad I did. I’m retweeting.
Leigh Ann Hubbard
Managing Editor
James Hubbard’s My Family Doctor
Hi Leigh Ann, thanks for stopping by. I’m hopping over to your site now.
Outstanding! Funny, memorable. Bravo!
Oh my God, that was hilarious! Number 5 was clearly the winnar, passed it on.